Hi Cupcakes!

Welcome to the very festive month of December. It is that time of the year when christmas songs fill the air, prices compete with the clouds, when all your besties get married (or engaged) and you find yourself spending thousands on hair and aso-ebi. Most importantly, we are in that month where the main chicks get to flaunt their bae to the Family. And Facebook. And Instagram.

And the Side Chicks? 

Well, let's just say you need me right now. After loads of  research and questions asked to males and females, The answers to your "my husband must locate me this December" prayers has just arrived. If you want to make it out of the side-chick zone and into that enviable spot of the main chick, You better Smarten up and Pay Attention. 



First, let's clear the air:
"There is no such thing as a main chick. If there's more than one involved, then everybody's a side; one piece is just bigger than the other"— Derrick Jaxn 

Feeling relieved? Don't waste your breath. This doesn't make being a side chick Okay. It just tells You that you need to set your standards higher. Ever heard the expression "All or Nothing?"
Main chick or Side piece, you need to set yourself some good old standards hun. You need to show yourself some respect, realize that he would only value you as much as you value yourself.
Like my girl @princessposhnosh says;


2. Understand that you Lack the "IT" Factor

Ever wonder why he’s content with keeping you on the side? Doesn't it bother you that you’re good enough for him to get some quick beats, but not good enough to be the matriarch of his household?

The answer is simple. You lack “it”.
Now, I don’t think that there is a generally accepted definition of what “it” is. Most men define “it” differently. Some people have “it”, some don’t. His Wife/GF/Main One has “it”, while you attempt to trick him into thinking you are “it".
Here's what a few of the guys from my snapchat had to say as regards the "It" That They Crave.






3. You Make Yourself Too Available.

Why would a guy who seems to have found the "It" Factor in his main chick would want some side action?
Err....Greed and something called the 80/20 theory. For those of you who are not familiar with the 80/20 theory, it is a notion which claims that you can only get 80% of what you crave from your partner. The other 20% ,you either live without or out source.
So what does a greedy guy who wants it all do? He gets himself some side action. And you make yourself available for it, doing the nasty little things they respect their main chicks too much to ask for. Even the boys confirmed it!




4. He Can’t trust you

After all the whistle blowing by all these secondary Beaux's, running amok in the news and gossip blogs exposing themselves and all the married men they done screwed, you think any man stepping out on his lady will trust you?
If he's cheating with you, he ain't gonna trust you. A thief NEVER trusts another thief. The sooner you understand that , the better for all.

5 . You Think He’ll Drop The Wife/GF for You

Somewhere within the side chicks mind exists a fantasy world in which their love interest falls in love and leaves their current situation to be with them. Too bad 9 times out of 10 this will never be the case.
For one, you are an extra curricular activity compared to the real life task that is their main piece. These side chicks don’t understand that men will tell them whatever they want to hear in order to keep them happy, and most times these words pale in comparison to the truth. You know he lives with his boo. You know he’s married. Yet you still think he’ll leave his situation when he has the best of both worlds? Leave his 80 for a 20?? Wake up and smell the coffee sweetheart! It ain't gonna happen.


6. You aren’t the only one.

What, you thought you were special? He's loving you up on the side and you feel all secure, get it straight sister, You may not even be the first option! He can dump you in a heartbeat and its on to the next girl on the call log. We live in a society based off of multitasking. Consider yourself managed adequately, especially if he makes you feel uber special and doesn’t miss a beat!

7.  You Have a False Sense Of Entitlement

These side chicks want all the expensive gifts, first class trips, all their needs and the world at their feet for their pain and suffering. May I remind you, that The main definition of side chick is secondary. Substitute. Supplimentary. Second/Third/Fourth tier.

You are the "jara" a man demands for when he buys some suya from the local suya guy just because he’s greedy and on his fat boy flow.
You are NEITHER the cabbage nor the onions because they come with the Suya. You are not entitled to anything but a hard dyck and what ever he decides to give you.
You should not expect the world from a man just because you give him a mere 20%. You're only presenting yourself as a drainage system and not wife/main chick material. You have to invest more in the life of your partner...

And for Pete's sake know yourself worth! You are too priceless to be picking up after another woman's sloppy seconds.


Till my next post, stay stylish and keep your standards high.
❤❤